The following Featured Post comes from TV Series Group 11, Thread 1.

7. Understanding your mate
Sat, Sep 18, 1999 - 11:38 AM/EST
annetta

I watched all eight segments of "An American Love Story", and though I commend Karen and Bill for their strength and courage, what impacted me the most was the children. I know I am going to piss off a lot of people, but I just don't think it is a good idea to have children of two races, most especially white and black. I am not saying that their won't be difficulties in any relationship I just think that you are asking for trouble when you mix the two most antagonistic races. Their is so much racial tension between white and blacks that having children is just a tragedy. (Uh oh!)

I would like to say "we are all the same", well we are not! Back to biracial children, I feel sorry for them, because just like Cicily experienced, there will come a time in their lives when they have to make a choice of who or what they want to be, meaning black or white. Now I know that that is not right or fair, but that is how it is. They look at themselves and say I have a black mother and a white father or vice versa, and I love both of them equally, but the world sees black. And people for the most part sees black, only black. That is why I think it is a terrible thing to do to a child. Children have enough to deal with, without having to decide what race they are, which is a shame that they should have to. That is why I am really against the black and white mixing thing but that is just how the children come out mixed up, confused.

In a perfect world, biracial children could just be, but it is not a perfect world and the fact is they will probably deal with more prejudice than a child who was only black. Because when you are black, you deal with mainly prejudice from whites, but when you are black and white, you deal with prejudice from all sides.

9. responding to annetta
Sun, Sep 19, 1999 - 10:54 AM/EST
aduni

WOW! I'm sorry that you feel the way that you do about biracial children. It makes me pretty sad. As the mother of two biracial kids I know that most of this country sees them as black. As they get older I know that we will make sure they know that so when they get out into the world it won't be a shock. More and more biracial people are identifying as such (see the news about changes in the 2000 census). Things change. Racial mixing is not new. And just out of curiosity, what is that you thing is soo different among blacks and whites that makes relationships a bad idea??????

10. Biracial Children
Sun, Sep 19, 1999 - 4:20 PM/EST
eve

I think that biracial kids have a opportunity to experience the two worlds. It may not always be easy and yes a choice someday will be made but unfortunately life is all about choices and struggles. Life consists of degrees of struggles and while the magnitude is not always the same life is not easy lets say if you grow up as a fat kid, a poor kid or have a parent who is mentally ill or you have a disability. If we don't embrace the difference can we ever see past them? Just as a FYI....There is a good book it is called "HOPE" by Isabell Monk, about a little girl who is biracial and how her great aunt explains it to her. It is agreat book for little kids and also for adults.

11. response to anetta
Sun, Sep 19, 1999 - 10:15 PM/EST
elizabethrlk

I think that your view of "race mixing" is exactly what will keep racist people stuck in the same mind set that has plagued this country for hundreds of years...instead of concentrating on how different we all are we need to find common ground...black, asian, hispanic, native american...whatever you are there is something that ties you to the human race..something that makes us similiar..wether it be you like the color orange and so do i or we share the same affinity for loud rock music. This is what will eventually bring us together..for once we find something we have in common with a person of another race the higher our comfort level will be with that person...so challenge yourself anetta..challenge yourself to see the simililarities and then maybe you can take the next step to understanding...

12. Response to Annetta
Mon, Sep 20, 1999 - 11:42 AM/EST
treytrav

Why is it so different in your eyes if white/black mix - is it wrong if Jewish/white mix, what about mexican/white - there is no difference - your thinking yes will keep this a racist world. I agreed with what you said in your introduction - but sorry I don't agree with what you are saying now. I have two beautiful children whom are biracial and they will grow up with the best of both worlds - they will learn what it's like in both worlds and they will be themselves. They will be stong and proud because that's what we will teach them.

Sorry to see you feel how you do . . . :-(

13. understanding your mate
Mon, Sep 20, 1999 - 4:03 PM/EST
annetta

Okay! In response to everyone and you know who you are, I didn't make the world the way it is. I also no that I am not the only one who feels this way but oh well. I still think it is a bad idea for people to have a black/white child, even though I totally sympathize with parents of biracial children. All I did was voice an opinion that was mine. I am sorry offended so many people but it still doesn't change anything.

So, I put this question to all of you who so vehemently objected to what I said. Why is it a good idea to have children of particularly black/white races. I wait on your replies, and as for eve I think it was as to why I totally against the black/white mixing thing. You know why but if
you want me to spell it out it is because their is
so much hate between these two particular races.

14. black/white mixing thing
Mon, Sep 20, 1999 - 5:08 PM/EST
aduni

OK. So I read the bios after I quickly responded to your post Annette. My response before was aimed at a white woman. Having read your bio (as an African-American woman) - you OBVIOUSLY know what racism is, how it feels and impacts your life. I can now understand your point about biracial being an additional consideration or problem. I had this conversation with my mom the other night because she asked the same question - is it harder to get it from both sides? I don't know - I think that in some cases it will be - but for a lot of America my kids are black not biracial. The flip side of this is that in Nigeria where my husband is from our kids would be considered white......

15. Re: black/white mixing thing
Mon, Sep 20, 1999 - 6:02 PM/EST
rain

To aduni...
I'm puzzled that you seem to be more accepting of the comments annetta made because she's not white. Is it somehow more acceptable to you that a black woman considers the fact that you and your husband have children together a "tragedy"? Her feeling "sorry for them" is somehow okay, because she's not white? I think your #9 response was absolutely on-target, and you posed a valid question. What is so different indeed....

16. a good idea to have children
Mon, Sep 20, 1999 - 6:23 PM/EST
rain

In response to your question (#13) annetta---
It is a good idea to have children if you're a responsible adult, in a committed relationship with a partner who also wants children; if you are capable of loving, nurturing, caring and providing for them REGARDLESS of whether one's own ancestors hail from Africa while one's partner's ancestors hail from England, etc.

I assume no one has children just because they're in an interracial relationship; likewise, they shouldn't NOT have children because it.

17. Response to annetta
Mon, Sep 20, 1999 - 7:38 PM/EST
elizabethrlk

One cannot post a dialog like that and not expect some emotion-filled reactions...please tell me you excpected people to be honest and truthful with their responses, just as you were with your opinion that the "races" shouldn't mix. I vehemently disagree with your opinion but i respect your right to voice it..i thank GOD every day that two people of different races decided to have a child, for if they didn't i would not have the most beautiful, incredible..most loving creation that walks the earth..my sweet baby boy. Praise GOD that he decided to mix the ancestry of these two people and decided to make me that child's mother...PEACE :-)

18. responding to anetta
Mon, Sep 20, 1999 - 11:53 PM/EST
bhjb

I had to skip all of the other posts after I read what anetta had to say about bi-racial children. With all due respect to you, your view of the world and the future seem to be very limited. I am one of those people you seem to find the need to pity, please don't. I'm 36, have a masters degree, am very well-adjusted, have never felt confused about who I am, and have my parents to thank that they brought me into this world and raised me the way they did. Let's face it.. life can be hard for all who choose to stay and live it...being bi-racial requires that you move through life with your eyes wide open (perhaps a little more so than others) and all of your senses functioning all of the time.

The opportunities that we find ourselves in to facilitate change and to educate seem to be endless, and for some of us it's what gets our juices flowing and will help this society to become a more tolerant one. For your own education, please get to know some of us personally. You will find us no more confused than the average person. I do think you've made a positive step by at least sharing your ideas and hopefully you can be persuaded otherwise in your perception of us. Cicely was not confused about her identity...she was impatient with the way people perceived her and the quick judgements that were made, based on little or no information.

19. responding to annetta
Tue, Sep 21, 1999 - /EST
bhjb

I'm with rain, excusing or justifying annetta's comments simply because she is African-American is very puzzling.

My question to Annetta would be, "how many bi-racial people do you know personally?" It is very easy to play armchair psychologist when one has never had any experiences with a particular segment of the population. In answer to your question regarding why it is or it isn't a good idea to have children of black/white heritage, I would say....why is it or isn't it a good idea to have children at all. People who want children, regardless of ethnic background are not looking for the "grand conspiracy." They want to have children that can carry on after they are gone, it's that simple. No hidden agenda, just love of family and children.