The following Featured Post comes from Relationship Group 7, Thread 32.

1. why are we here?
Fri, Sep 24, 1999 - 4:02 PM/EST
lmh

In reading through the most recent topics and responses I found myself wondering why each of us chose to be at this dialogue site. I am here because I want to interact with a diverse community about the subjects of seperation, integration, racism, etc. I like to have disagreement and agreement occuring. I like to conversation to be primarily to increase understanding and therefore to work toward bridging barriers.

I "hear" a lot of anger and reaction rather than questioning and discussing. Lightnet, you sound very angry, and that is okay but please be honest about it. And many of you responding to Lightnet sound angry in your responses. But I am assuming that you would not be involved in this site if you didn't want to bridge gaps. It is not easy to "listen for understanding" instead of reacting strongly to what is said that you don't agree with or like. That is what I am looking for, anyone else? Leslie

2. But, with us being human beings and all...
Fri, Sep 24, 1999 - 8:09 PM/EST
w&t

I wish the world were a perfect place and everyone could have open, calm, and truthful discussuions. Sorry to say though, this is not realistic. Truth can be ugly and dissappointing,period. I would have dropped out of this on day one if I'd ever gotten the impression that everyone was just saying what I wanted to hear, and the way I wanted to hear it!

To me "brigding gaps" means being able to get mad and ugly and still coming out of it knowing more than when I went in. I didn't expect it all to make me comfortable; I'm looking for truth in whatever form it takes!

3. Taking it in...
Fri, Sep 24, 1999 - 9:19 PM/EST
noreen

I appreciate all of the postings. Sometimes those that I more strongly disagree with keep me thinking and questioning and learning more than the others.

I am interested in how others have "bridged gaps" in cultural differences not just between races, but also differences in physical abilities/disabilities, religion, ages, same sex couples living in a predominantly hetero world...what helps you build bridges with people who are culturally different from you?

4. taking it in
Sat, Sep 25, 1999 - 6:17 PM/EST
mms

Maybe I am naive, but I believe that I personally bridged the gap by not judging a person before I get to know them. I may not agree with everything they say or do, but I base my feelings on how that person makes me feel when I am around them. If I am comfortable, great. If I feel very uneasy associating with them, I don't. I am married to a black man and have a niece that is bi-sexual. I have sisters that don't attend church, I attend every Sunday. I still love and respect them. To me color, sexual preference, or disabilities make no difference.

5. I think our little group is fading away
Sun, Sep 26, 1999 - 3:28 AM/EST
kimetha

For whatever reason I sense the avidly posting people have lost interest in the group. Did we accomplish much? I'm not sure. I'm glad I got to say some of the things that have bothered me for a long time, but did anyone who would benefit hear them? I thank all who shared personal experiences of bi-racial relationships and problems.

6. Not if we don't want to fade away
Sun, Sep 26, 1999 - 1:51 PM/EST
wayne

I would like everyone interested in continuing to keep posting. If you think it will help I'll pledge to post an answer to every subject just leave a note in my bio. I think seeing other people's responses, even when I didn't comment myself, had my mind going over the point and counterpoint. I enjoyed the group but it doesn't have to end now. Please say something if you feel the same.

7. learning and growth
Sun, Sep 26, 1999 - 7:09 PM/EST
lmh

I was not implying that people cannot get mad, only that I don't think that it helps to put up walls by the way we express our anger. I will admit that anger is not easy for me so I may be responding to that discomfort in me. But I will also say that I have practiced a lot in expressing my anger in a respectful and honest way that can lead to more understanding instead of hurt and more anger. I saw some of the posts as doing only that, producing hurt and anger. That was my perception...I would like to see the group continue, I think we are lacking a "united" focus and interest. Certainly nothing got as many responses as the same issue that produced the most anger, the BM/WW relationship thing. Where do we go from here?

8. Some people don't post...it's OK
Mon, Sep 27, 1999 - 1:37 AM/EST
noreen

My boyfriend is in another "dialogue group". He enjoys reading the postings and we've discussed some of them, but he's only posted 1 or 2 responses.

My point is there may be some people still reading the postings, thinking about them, discussing them on the bus, etc. even if they're not posting replies. So, I think there is a benefit to a group larger than just those posting on the site. A benefit in terms of being a catalyst for further contemplation and discussion of the topics.

Anyway, I don't want this to end!